In Unlikeliest Places
by mileouttahell
Summary: When tragedy strikes, how do you move on?
1. Prologue

Opening notes: Huge thanks goes out to my Muse, Asha, from whom I most likely lifted whole lines and characterizations. Huge thanks also goes to anyone who read this and managed not to laugh their ass off. 

Warnings: Beware of heavy sexual themes. This fic is rated R for them, so I'd appreciate it if you turn around right now if that stuff doesn't work for you. This fic also has shounen-ai, but if you don't like shounen-ai, why are you reading a Clamp series? Finally, character death. And perhaps the fact that clichéd plotlines abound also deserves a warning.

It was one month...then two, then three...

For awhile he counted. And then, slowly, he started to lose track of how long it had been since she'd died.

The months dissolved into years...the first year, then the second, the third.

They lied when they said the pain would go away over time, but it did lessen.

It would never stop hurting, though. There would always be that empty space inside of him where she'd been.

Slowly, he regained his old cheerful sparkle. If it was perhaps a bit duller than before, well, who would notice? The shift from the walking zombie back to the cheerful boy was enough that no one would notice if that boy wasn't quite as cheerful as he'd been before.

What was missing was, perhaps, the cheerful innocence he had possessed before. He now knew that bad things happened to good people, seemingly at random.

He knelt at her grave, offering a smile to her headstone. She would have wanted him to smile - and to mean it. He absently brushed a bit of dirt away that had collected in the letters before placing the flowers he was carrying.

"Here's to my third year without you," he whispered, pressing his lips lightly against the headstone. "I miss you."

He stood and left the graveyard, leaving behind him the tombstone.

OGAWA UTAKO

1977-1999

BELOVED WIFE OF ONE MONTH OF IJYUIN AKIRA.


	2. Chapter 1

Brown eyes regarded gold solemnly over the rim of the cards. "I see your two dollars and raise you two more," Akira said seriously, tossing his chips onto the pile.

"I want to play!" Nokoru said petulantly from where Suoh had handcuffed his ankle to his desk leg until he finished his paperwork.

Akira turned puppy eyes on Suoh. "Can't we let him come play, sempai?"

"He can play when he's finished," was the calm reply, as Suoh didn't look up. Having long ago developed immunity from Nokoru's puppy eyes, Akira's didn't affect him any more than Nokoru's did.

"But-" Akira protested.

"He should have done it on time," Suoh replied, still not looking up.

Akira let out a soft huff of air, almost pouting - it really was useless to argue with Suoh sometimes. They played in silence for a couple of minutes, only calling out their hands (Akira was surprisingly good at this game, but he supposed it came from being 20 Masks).

"Have you heard from Azusa-san recently…?" Akira asked tentatively, and then kicked himself for using that particular way to break the silence.

Suoh shook his head, eyes lowered on his hand. "Not since the last time she moved…" he replied, biting his lip, though whether it was at the cards in his hand or at not having heard from Nagisa, Akira wasn't sure.

"Ah - where was it to this time?"

Suoh shrugged. "Somewhere else in America. It didn't mean much to me…my knowledge of American geography is rather weaker than it could be."

Akira nodded. "And…don't you think maybe you should be moving on? Going out on dates?"

Suoh just looked blankly at Akira. "Don't you think that _you _should be going out on dates?"

Akira's eyes lowered. "Utako only died three years ago."

"And Nagisa only left four years ago. It's not like it's so much more, Akira-san."

Akira gave a wry smile. "I just don't like seeing you lonely," he said, tossing his hand down.

"And you think we like seeing you lonely?" Suoh rebutted, glancing at Nokoru and speaking for him as well. Nokoru looked up long enough to indicate agreement with a nod before he went back to scribbling furiously, clearly trying to get the paperwork done as quickly as possible. "You haven't even gone out drinking with your college friends lately."

Akira shrugged. "They're not really very good at being conscientious of my feelings," he replied, "And anyway, I haven't felt like it." He glanced down at his hand and frowned slightly. "Hey, tell you what. You come out with me and we'll both go drinking. We'll get so drunk we forget our own names."

"I don't drink, Akira," Suoh replied, almost overly solemn. "I can't afford to."

Akira rolled his eyes and tossed his cards on the table, and then waved his right hand slightly. "Don't be ridiculous. You haven't taken even a weekend off in how long? Don't get me wrong, Imonoyama-sama is good company," Akira leaned backwards in his chair and tilted his head backwards to observe Nokoru, who was nearing the bottom of the stack of papers, "But everyone can use a change of pace sometimes."

"I fully agree," Nokoru muttered absently. "But you have to take the weekend off too, Akira."

"But-" they both protested at once.

"That'll leave you with no protection," Suoh finished.

"Call Koji-kun," Nokoru suggested calmly.

"But-" Suoh objected again.

"Oh, give him a break, sempai," Akira scolded. "You know he'll take it seriously as long as it's important."

Suoh sighed slightly. "I suppose."

Akira clapped his hands. "Yay!" he exclaimed. "Go call him?" he pleaded, giving the puppy eyes to Suoh.

"All right, all right," Suoh sighed again, doing his best to look put-upon before he went to his desk and picked up his phone, dialing his brother and asking him to bodyguard Nokoru for a weekend, a task his brother quickly agreed to ("as long as you pay me.")

The next evening found them at a bar that Akira had picked out. It wasn't really upscale, because Akira argued that "that wouldn't be fun. You're missing the point, Suoh." It wasn't horribly divvy, but it wasn't exactly the nicest joint in the world - in Akira's opinion, a great place to get trashed off their asses.

It didn't take them too long to start working on it..

"I've never asked the question, 'if it's mostly made of sugar, than why does it taste so salty?'" Suoh said, continuing their game of "I've Never."

"Suoh," Akira giggled. "That never happened. It's an old urban legend and one of my med school buddies thought it sounded like something I would do. And somehow the story spread."

"It didn't?" Suoh said, looking disappointed.

"No, I'm sorry. Never happened." A pause. "I've never burned spaghetti," Akira said, looking as though he was torn between giggling at the thought and smirking.

Suoh sighed and took a drink. "How'd you know that?" he questioned.

Akira smiled. "Rijichou told me."

"Well, I've never had sex," Suoh rebutted.

Akira pouted, taking a drink. "Suoh, that's a low- wait, you've never had sex? You're a virgin in your late twenties?" His eyes widened slightly. "And you were trying to tease me about being the innocent one - how are you a virgin with all the girls after you?"

Suoh flushed slightly, and wavered. "I'm not exactly a one night stand kind of guy," he said, looking both embarrassed and annoyed, making for one very childishly cute combination. "I don't want to play any more," he declared, draining the rest of his drink. Completely unused to drinking, he was starting to act rather loopy.

"Aww, well it's no wonder that you're so tense," Akira teased. "You should get laid, really, Suoh." Smirk smirk. The expression on Suoh's face was too precious. He wasn't quite as far gone as his friend. "Perhaps you should find someone to...help relieve your stress." It was far too much fun to tease Suoh, he decided. And if Suoh thought he was getting out of it by declaring the game over, he was sorely mistaken. If anything, it made Akira more focused on the point.

"I can't just run around sleeping with people!" Suoh objected, sounding surprisingly coherent considering he was wobbling on his barstool. "Not if it didn't mean anything! I can't do that to people." He considered. "Especially not girls. Rijichou would kill me." Then again, he was speaking very slowly, Akira noted. More than likely, he had to concentrate on every word as he said it.

"Have another!" he said cheerfully, finishing his own off and waving the bartender over, ordering another for each of them. "I'll get the tab." Almost meaningless – it wasn't like either of them was short on money. But the gesture was, despite everything, still considered a polite one.

Suoh mumbled something about picking it up next time, which made Akira raise an eyebrow, wondering if Suoh meant to imply that there would be a next time, or if he was just saying that on general principle. "So –wait- what do you mean, especially not girls?"

"'Specially not girls," Suoh repeated unhelpfully.

"I didn't know you liked guys," Akira said slowly.

Suoh's eyes widened marginally as he appeared to realize what he'd said.

"It's okay," Akira interrupted, before Suoh got going on some sort of drunken babble to try to cover up. "I don't mind." Pause, digest. Finish his second drink.

Smirk. "Perhaps in that case you should find a male friend for…stress relief."

Blinking. "Ijyuin," Suoh said very slowly. "Are you offering?"

Akira slouched slightly, allowing his legs to fall slightly apart. "Maaaaybe. Are you in'erested?"

"Depends…" Suoh said vaguely.

"Are you scared, Suoh?" Akira questioned sweetly. Damned if he wasn't going to get laid tonight…he told his conscience to go take a hike as it screamed that he was taking advantage; Suoh probably needed physical comfort more than he did. Gods, the man couldn't go through life never letting anyone close to him. If anyone was going to try for that intimacy, it might as well be him. After all, he was Suoh's peer. He could take care of himself; he and Suoh were true equals, and Suoh wouldn't have to worry about caring for him. He probably understood Suoh better than anyone else, despite their very different outward personalities; inside there was the same deep caring for people, the same admiration for Nokoru and the need to protect him, the same near-utter selflessness that drove them in their duties.

"I am not scared," Suoh pouted. Takamuras were not afraid of anything, dammit. The bar had just been raised, and now there was an unspoken competition- and he would not back down first.

"Then are you interested?" Akira repeated, not-so-innocently unbuttoning the top button of his own shirt.

"I suppose I could use some…stress relief," Suoh admitted, licking his lips, and deciding to give as good as he was getting, raking his eyes over Akira, slowly, lingering at his crotch.

"I can think of few better ways to pass time," Akira purred lowly, feeling a shiver run up his spine at Suoh's scrutiny. "Better in the company of another, engaging in such a pleasurable activity than sitting home alone, cooking for oneself…" He met Suoh's gaze and tilted his head back slightly, running his hands down his chest to rest lightly on his thighs, spreading his legs ever so slightly more.

The one-upping continued. Akira had to wonder vaguely if someone would back down – or if they were actually going to do what they were threatening to.

"Well, I don't live with my parents," Suoh teased Akira just the slightest about his living situation. "Perhaps we should go to my apartment…" He leaned forward, though he ended up flopping partway, and wrapped his arms around Akira, nuzzling at his neck.

Akira's eyes widened slightly, not having expected that particular move, but he managed to say vaguely focused. "I thought you were living at Rijichou's…" he said, looking vaguely confused, and breaking away from their game for the moment. Though it was hard to think with Suoh's warm breath tickling at his throat.

"Usually," Suoh mumbled, which didn't do anything for the goosebumps that were breaking out under Suoh's breath. "But sometimes we need space…so I've got an apartment…"

Akira didn't have to think twice. "Soundsgoodlet'sgo," he agreed, pushing Suoh away from his neck before he could get any more turned on than he already was. He handed a couple of bills to the bartender with a generous tip and then grabbed Suoh's arm, dragging him out of the bar.

They barely made it a block before Suoh got tired of swatting Akira's hand away from where it was groping his ass and pushed him up against the nearest wall to kiss him.

Akira giggled slightly, dissolving into moans quickly as Suoh's mouth caressed his. Virgin he might have been, but he was guessing that Suoh and Nagisa had done far more kissing than either of them were likely to admit to.

When Suoh's hand wormed its way up the front of his shirt, he decided it was probably way past time to get to his apartment.

When they got there, the door swung shut behind them, locking in the crescendoing moans.


	3. The Morning After

The tension in the student council office could be cut with a knife, and Nokoru was getting sick of it fast. There was a short pause, when Nokoru stopped scratching on his paper with his pen and gazed between Akira and Suoh thoughtfully. Suoh opened his mouth to remind Nokoru to get back to work, but Nokoru cut him off before he could say anything.

"I don't know what's going on," he said, leaving Akira to wonder if he really didn't know or if he knew exactly what the matter was (as he typically seemed to.) "But I'm tired of you two being angry with each other."

"We're not angry," Suoh and Akira both exclaimed at once, and then traded an awkward glance.

Nokoru's expression seemed to read, _oh please,_ as he stood up. "There's obviously something the matter," he said. "And furthermore, I cannot work when you two keep looking at each other when you think the other person isn't looking, and-" There seemed to be an implied "argh!" at the end of the statement that Nokoru was simply too graceful to say. He headed towards the door, and before Suoh could get up and protest his leaving, the door closed behind Nokoru. And clicked shut.

"Door on voice command," they heard Nokoru say from outside.

"Acknowledged," a little machine voice came from the door.

Suoh groaned and buried his face in his hands. Now the door would unlock only at Nokoru's command, meaning that the lock couldn't be picked to let them out.

"You're staying in there until you've worked whatever it is out," Nokoru informed them cheerfully from the other side of the door. "I'll check back in an hour."

"Rijichou, this will not get you out of the paperwork!" Suoh yelled through the door.

"I have my briefcase with me," Nokoru's voice floated back, as he clearly headed off somewhere. "I'll work on it."

Suoh and Akira stared at each other. "Um, I think he meant the bit about not letting us out until we worked it out," Akira mentioned hesitantly.

Suoh's head thudded against his desk. "Akira-"

"I'm sorry!" the dark-haired man exclaimed suddenly. "Don't be angry with me!"

Suoh looked at him, utterly befuddled. "Why would I be angry with you? I was worried that you were angry with me…" he winced slightly.

"Suoh…" Akira looked equally confused. "I'm not upset with you. I was just worried that you were upset with me – and – " his head suddenly thudded against the desk. "I guess we're both idiots then. I'm guessing you were thinking the same thing." He smiled hesitantly. "Well, now that we know that neither of us is angry with the other, can we stop acting so upset with each other? We're obviously upsetting Rijichou…"

"Rijichou wants everyone to get along, all of the time," Suoh sighed. "An admirable goal, but not always that realistic. Yes, and I'm sorry for making you think I was angry with you. I'm not angry at all."

Akira heaved a sigh of relief. "Why would I have been angry with you?"

Another wince came from Suoh. "Because I hurt you…" he half-mumbled, and looked up, guiltily. "Akira, I felt so bad…"

Akira nearly laughed. "Is that all? Suoh…I needed that. It was some of the best sex I've ever had…" Not entirely true, but he'd needed some sort of close contact, badly, and he felt a lot better now. It had been messy, it had been rough, but the emotions made up for the slight awkwardness.

Cue a predictable flush from Suoh. "Oh." A slight pause. "Um, well, why would I be angry with you?"

"Well…um…because you'd never, uh, done that before," now Akira was flushing too, set off partly because of the line of conversation and partly set off by the pink shade Suoh was turning.

"You were worried you took advantage of me?" Suoh queried. At Akira's slight nod, he shook his head. "No. I wasn't that drunk. I could have said no, but-" he shrugged. "There didn't seem to be a point in waiting any longer. I mean…it was starting to build to ridiculous levels of anticipation." He rubbed his temples. "I didn't need that."

Akira looked utterly relieved. "Let's just agree that we took advantage of each other and that neither of us needs to be angry or worried."

Suoh laughed slightly. "That sounds like a plan."

Akira bounced to his feet, and walked over to Suoh, hugging him around the shoulders. "I think if Rijichou found out I took someone's virginity and didn't even buy them dinner, he'd kill me," he said with just a hint of a twinkle in his eye. "So may I buy you dinner?"

Suoh hid a smile. "You bought me drinks – Akira, are you asking me out on a date?"

Akira blinked. "I…guess I am," he said, thoughtfully. "I miss playing footsie under the table and trying to pretend like nothing's going on, even though the waiter clearly knows better."

Suoh nearly choked. "Akira…" he said. And then firmly. "No footsie. I don't want to see that headline in the tabloids."

"Says the man that was kissing me in broad moonlight the other night," Akira teased. "So does that mean you'll go with me?"

Suoh nodded, slowly. "I'll go with you."

Akira beamed. "Good," he said simply. "…I wonder when Rijichou's coming back."

Suoh sighed. "Probably never, if he thought he could get away with it. I'll call his cell."

Luckily for Suoh's sanity, Nokoru actually picked up when he called, and after threatening Suoh vaguely about not fighting any more, he agreed to return to the office. To Suoh's surprise, when he returned he pulled several stacks of completed paperwork from his briefcase, proving that he actually had been working.

"I trust you worked that out," Nokoru said severely.

"Yes, Rijichou," they chorused, innocently.

"Good," Nokoru continued in the same severe tone of voice. "It made me sad."

Suoh tried not to snicker at this pouty statement. "Sorry, Rijichou," he said. "We'll behave-" There was a short pause. "But only if you do. Finish your paperwork!"

Nokoru sighed. "So cruel, Suoh. I'm just worried about my two closest friends…" He smiled sweetly. "But since you managed to make up, I suppose I can manage to do my work without being harassed for once."

Suoh's imagination conjured up the Hallelujah Chorus singing. "Thank goodness," he muttered, flopping down in his chair.

Akira snickered.

Akira picked him up the following Friday evening. Having been the one to suggest a date, he insisted on being the one to plan and execute it, which Suoh promptly decided was fine. He had no real reason to want to plan the date, so if Akira wanted to do it, he would relax for once in his life and let the other man take care of things. After all, Akira was the one whose competence he trusted above anyone else's when it came to Nokoru. He could certainly trust him to plan a simple date.

"So, what are we going to do?" Suoh asked after a moment, slightly nervous in spite of himself. If anyone had told him that he'd be in this position a week ago, he would have laughed.

"I thought we'd go to the park and have dinner," Akira said. "I brought a blanket and I made foods that are good for picnics…" His eyes shone. "I think I made some good things! I haven't done a picnic in ages, so I wasn't quite sure what to pack, but my moms suggested some really good foods for taking in a picnic basket."

"That sounds….really nice," Suoh confessed, after considering for a moment. Akira pulled his car into the parking lot and got out – and insisted on rushing around to open Suoh's door for him. Suoh looked amused, but allowed this treatment from Akira. Really, it was quite adorable, even if the part where he felt vaguely like he was being treated like a girl wasn't quite as nice.

He wrapped an arm around Akira's shoulders after Akira picked up the picnic basket and blankets. Akira shifted the things to his opposite hand and wrapped his now free arm around Suoh's waist, snuggling up to him. "Where are we going to walk to?" Suoh murmured.

"Unless you preferred otherwise, I was thinking the lake," Akira said, as they set off. Suoh nodded, quiet, in agreement. It wasn't an awkward silence at the moment, though. Suoh was just a quiet person, and Akira was happy to let them walk in silence, admiring the darkening night as they headed to the lakeside.

It was the work of a moment to spread the blanket and set the basket on top of it, just far enough from the lake that they were resting on grass instead of dirt. "It's lovely here this time of day," Suoh murmured, eyes scanning the park automatically. The back of his mind assessed possible dangers and escape route; his conscious mind was able to take the chance to admire the area. And without even thinking about it, he quoted, "Abide with me: fast falls the eventide; The darkness deepens, Lord, with me abide…"

"It is lovely," Akira agreed, watching Suoh scan the area, well aware of what he was doing without even thinking about it. "You're lovely," he blurted suddenly, and blushed. "What was the poem?"

Suoh looked surprised, which seemed to be turning into a normal reaction around Akira lately for him. "Akira…" he said slowly. And then, when he thought about it, what else could he say but, "Thank you. And it was 'Abide with Me' by Henry Lyte. One of many poems written about the evening hour."

Akira smiled slightly, a near-mysterious smile that Suoh wasn't used to seeing on his face. Though the ninja didn't realize it, it was the smile of the thief 20 Masks. "Come here," he said, patting the blanket next to him. Suoh sat down beside him and he took the man's shoulders, pulling him so that his head was in Akira's lap. "Here," he said softly, holding a morsel of something or other to Suoh's lips.

He couldn't quite tell in the moonlight, but he was pretty sure the other man was flushed again as he took the food from Akira's fingers, chewing. "Delicious," his voice came quietly from the darkness. "But I'd expect nothing else from you."

Akira grinned slightly, picking out another piece of food and eating it himself before feeding Suoh another. "I am the god of cooking, naturally," he joked, his free hand somehow finding its way into Suoh's hair.

"Did you…" Suoh started quietly. "If I may ask, did you ever do this for Utako?"

Akira started slightly at the question, "Yes, it's fine," he said without thinking, and then realized to his own surprise that it really was okay for Suoh to ask that. "I did similar things…I cooked meals for her all the time, of course. And we did picnics in my backyard a couple of times. Though I tried to feed her once and she insisted she could do it herself." He chuckled slightly, the memory funny though it also couldn't help being slightly painful.

"She'd be glad you're still able to smile about the things she did, you know," Suoh said softly.

"I know," Akira whispered around a slight tightening in his chest. "It still hurts despite that, though. I'm trying to be strong for her memory... I'm sure she'd come down from heaven and kick my ass if I sat around angsting about it or something."

Suoh chuckled slightly, the sound transferring through to Akira as a soft rumble from where Suoh rested on him. "I can just see it now. 'Ijyuin Akira, why are you sitting around in your underwear watching soap operas? Get off your butt and go find yourself someone nice to spend the rest of your life with!' Your wife was scary when she was angry…"

"This from the great Takamura clan head," Akira teased.

"Hey, hell hath no fury like that of a woman," Suoh said seriously. "But she was good at getting people to do what she wanted. Almost as good as Rijichou is."

Akira chuckled. "Well, I believe that's why the two of them were class presidents, and we were not," he pointed out, switching from the shredded and spiced chicken bits he'd been feeding Suoh and himself to apple slices, slipping one past Suoh's lips and then leaning down to kiss him when the telltale munching had ceased.

Suoh blushed and spluttered slightly, not having expected that. "Isn't kissing supposed to wait until the third date?" he covered.

"That's for people who haven't had drunken sex already, and anyway, I wanted to taste the apple," Akira replied, pretending to pout, and then smacking his lips in overexaggerated delight in the taste.

"Fair enough," Suoh agreed, and caught Akira's fingers in his lips the next time they presented an apple to him.

After dinner and dessert had finished, Suoh lay on his back, Akira resting on his chest and listening to his heart beat, the soft rise and fall of Suoh's chest lulling him into a state of drowsiness and contentment.

"The stars seem extra bright tonight," Suoh said, his chest rumbling with his voice. "Perhaps they glow brighter to see your beautiful face lit up."

"Cheesy, Suoh," Akira said, though he was clearly flattered.

"As long as it makes you feel good," Suoh said agreeably.

"You know…I think we both convinced ourselves that we were more drunk than we actually were the other night," Akira said softly. "Because…we both wanted it, but didn't want to admit that we did, or wanted an excuse for feeling that way…" he sighed. "So we convinced ourselves that we were trashed, and…"

Suoh snickered slightly, smoothing his hand over Akira's hair. "I think you might be right…but either way, it worked out well for us. I'm glad my subconscious gave me a bit of a kick."

"Mmm," Akira mumbled, nuzzling Suoh's chest.

Glancing down, Suoh realized that Akira was almost all the way asleep. "Sleep well, Kitten," he murmured, the nickname popping into his head unbidden.

"Kitten?" Akira asked sleepily.

Suoh nodded, combing fingers through his hair gently. "I think it suits you. Rest up."

Akira nodded and yawned, eyes fluttering the rest of the way shut as his breathing evened out.

Akira was, apparently a very heavy sleeper. He didn't wake when Suoh wrapped him up in a blanket and carried him back to his car. He wasn't awake when Suoh made a second trip to get the picnic basket and other things they'd left, packing them into the trunk, and he didn't wake when Suoh started the car and drove them back to his apartment. And he slept soundly when Suoh carried him up to the apartment and settled him down on the bed, pulling him into his arms once again.


End file.
